Service...a viable skill

  Over the last few days I have dreamt about my old career in garden center retail.   Nothing dramatic.....real dreams about busy days, hard work, and good times. In this age where service as a concept is being redefined......replacing humans with machines......all that bullshit....it is good to see that human rouch....even at six feet.....is needed and appreciated.  Parking lots are stimulated as we slowly awake from garden center slumber.

     What I realize is my day has passed in the sense of full involvement. My strength and mobility is gone.....eyes meh......legs damaged from vascular issues.....but I can contribute in small ways.....

     Back on course, the first lecture I ever got in the importance of customer service was 40 years ago.....as a 17 year old summer employee at West Beach Corp......there were some shenanigans leading to discipline.....and the President,  Doug Canning , had a chat with the employees about service.....taking care of ourselves and our clientele........doing a good job.....smiling......seems like basics but these basics hold true today and.forever.  I call this a teaching moment in my life..... I have had a few.....most did not happen in a classroom. 

     What these dreams and moments remind me if is that.you're never too old to get involved......never too old to serve....and service is a viable skill and customer.service trait. Peace.

2020

Walk a mile with a cover

Others pass and say hello

Lines on the street to buy some stuff

Bars stacking to go orders

Or sadly closed 

Working at home 

If at all

People reconsidering the small and large

We hope....

For a job

For a chance

Cures for 19

Common sense government

Prepare to open stores

Prepare  to open up life

Keep the faith

Protect the weak

Nurture the strong

No one left behind.........

Odds and ends....easy on sad sack...

     I struggle at times with posting as my sad side spills out way too easily in poetry....so I avoid putting too much of that out. Even I recognize when I sound way too much like Glum and need a dope slap.
     Kudos to local sports personality Christian Fauria for publicizing his child's diabetic issues by doing a 25 hr phonathon on weei to help promote diabetic awareness. Good stuff.
     Little cold out there....leaves are empty....cleanups then plow time...feel bad for my brothers and sisters who take a winter layoff...
hope for smooth travels and an early spring...
     Last topic....enjoy thanksgiving....family and friends .....

another dream.....

     It seems that my psychological life is becoming as paramount as the physical..which is steady but by no means perfect....

     I just had a dream that blew my socks off. In this dream, i am laid off by my boss, who is also my older brother. Both of these pieces are true in the real realm. Rick  was my last employer when all this physical shite went down and changed my life....about 4 years ago.

     In the parts that I remember, Rick hires a bunch of people while I am holding a broom. We look at each other and shrug our shoulders as we know it's time for me to go. I never had such a coming to Jesus moment.....my sicknesses pulled me of the workfloor to the sidelines  ....in the background plays Jungleland....I guess as the hunter becomes the hunted.....

     The next scene gives me chills as Rick and the rest of the company follow me out to my car in a seemingly endless walk as seemingly thousands of people wish me well. Maybe representing all the people I have seen in 31 plus years of working...i was and am not much for goodbyes....i love people in a wallflower sit in the back kind of way ......goodbye is overrated and hugs are underrated.  This dream is sad ...  full of goodbyes and all the bullshit I hate.

     I get the feel that moving on is impossible and a chore.  For the record Rick and Kathy have been a pillar of support for me both since 2015 and before. As a man of business I was a frustrated teacher.....should have acted in that urge years ago.....never too late down here in Jungleland.....

     Other pieces fly thro like wisps in a tornado......Dototheeeeee!  You have the basis  Willy Loman meets...well...me. A man not giving in or giving up, who leans on social media, music and the kindness if others and a cool wife and kids to cobble together a unconventional but cool life....

     Tonight in jungleland......

Catch 22

     So, whoever wrote the movie Catch 22, with Alan Arkin.....was it Joseph Heller....I could use Google but that takes time.....well that fucking sumbitch was a genius. I have bumped into a come to Jesus catch 22 moment in life...
     In the movie,  the 'catch' involves whether Alan is crazy or not....he's told....well if you think you're crazy.. . then you aren't... if you don't think you're crazy.....well you get the gist.
     We run into this shit all the time. My first catch 22 was at the age of 18. I wanted to major in English in college. Went in as an English major. Well, needless to say mom and dad wanted me to take a business track. At the age of 18 I was quiet, shy, not a boat rocker.  I conformed....no big deal really. PC was a great fit and living at home and working or going to school locally would have been a tough go.
     Fast forward 40 fucking years later. I am 57 and disabled. I can work part time and gratefully accept an ssi benefit. Boy...i have been feeling awesome lately and would love to teach. I was a trainer for about 12 of my 15 years working for Comstar.....proudly trained day and night shift....trained trainers....trained managers.....but in the back of my head was this unfulfilled desire to teach.....
     So here i am......rocking like a hurricane.....and I have reached another come to Jesus moment...at least for me. I feel good....I want to do more....but if big brother [not my boy Rick,  who I have outweighed since 10th grade-he can still wear teen clothes!] thinks I can work more I can jeopardize my benefit...my current catch 22.
     I am whining.....i admit this. Some risks are worth rolling the.dice....this, probably not so much. I'd be a stupid peckerhead, and selfish, to risk a stable, healthy
and benefit laden life style.
     Like in other parts of my life....I need a compromise to satisfy me and big brother.....local volunteerism....informal coaching....baby steps.....sometimes baby steps piss me off.
     Geez...I wonder why I dream about unfinished credits at school....direct symbol of unfinished business......compromise and moderating the risk factor is more essential than my personal shit....bottom line.....gotta let that sink in...peace.

A Program Worth Keeping

https://www.salemnews.com/news/local_news/hospital-closing-program-for-mental-illness-addiction/article_301862a3-9047-5509-b591-7a93e184285d.html

     Above is the link to a Salem News article written by Paul Leighton discussing the closing of a long standing program at Beverly hospital.  The following is a plea from a person in the last graduating class......me.

     I have never been a political person. my dial has always been moved by the emotional.  Ask anyone who knows me.....reason always comes after that first visceral overreaction...like for many.  I recently put a heartfelt post on facebook....Depression is no joke....it can affect anyone....it affects me.  I consider my post a reasoned plea.  I appreciate the response. I got into this program...at the last call...literally.

     I decided to turn my luck into reality. I have 2 days left. The program is 6 hours a day mandatory daily attendance. To say this has helped me doesn't give the program enough credit. This orogram can either be the gateway to more treatment or a branch to outpatient care and support groups.

     The program uses the DVT approach to teaching....is 12 step based in its roots and is more seminar and discussion based than mere handout and lecture. You won't snooze as you are engaged and involved. These folks are smart and passionate...

     Between fb and my blog I figure I reach 200 people.  I would love to hit more.  This program needs to keep a presence here.  Please pass the word on to the mayor and state rep.....anyone you think can wield influence...

     I am doing extremely well. I will assume my part time job and dig into volunteerism locally. Be healthy and God bless.

eyes should not be ignored

     When you're managing diabetes, one thing that can be neglected is eyesight. For all the things that happened with my foot...heart...kidneys...I glossed over my eyes. somewhat intentional...i thought I was piling on and overdoing the sympathy card.

     In March 2015, we had enough snow to cry uncle 1000 times over. i decuded to make myself available to service local folks with driveway and walkway snow clearing. I got a few jobs and broke a few shear pins...i carried extras and popped them on in the snow....

     My first retinal bleed occurred in March....cant recall the exact date..I was putting my snowblower back into my truck using metal ramps when I experienced a total red and bleary washout in my right eye. I drive home and told Judy. I immediately called my eye guy who had been helping me with some minor eye stuff. This experience was painless but shocking as the end result was blinding.

     I needed a procedure called a vitriectomy to take the blood out of the eye. Done at Mass Eye and Ear under local anesthetics, the eye is blocked....frozen...and a tiny surgical needle slash mini vacuum sucks the blood out. Cool part...you can see this hapoen!!! From the inside!!! Eye patch of course...day procedure....home you go lad. Either Debbi or Carol drove me in...i can't recall...regardless...a slight tangent but God bless Carol, Debbi, Rick, and the Jude. ...and the village.....huge thanks!!!!

     At last count, starting in March 2015 I have had 8 of these procedures. Maybe 9....not sure....4 on each eye. Some of these happened alone....some happened in conjunction with other procedures.  I had a bleed in October 2015 while I was recovering from a stent procedure gone awry...I had another one in April 2016 when I had my foot operation.

   Again...no pity parties....the good news is I can now drive during the day...i have been driving since December 2017 and I can read. From March 2015 till November 2017 is my dark period....akternating times of no sight and partial sight.....again no pain....just no or limited vision.

     The tricky thing about laser surgery to correct retinal bleeding, which is a very precise process of mapping and targeting hotspots and shooting them down Luke Skywalker style, is that you lose a little peripheral vision and incur scarring. The scarring can take away vision strength.  It's a tradeoff I accept. Decent vision beats none. I gladly accept any mr magoo jokes as I can drive now...and life is good.

     If you don't recall Mr Magoo...google it...absolutely priceless!

     To wrap up....take care of your eyes. Yearly checks....glasses or contacts....and diabetics need to keep sugars in check. Retinal bleeds for me were quick...painless...and devastating. I wish these on no one. God bless.