Long time gone addendum 2018

        I started this essay over a year ago . Like a lot of things in my life, this essay is not done . Over the last year or so there've been a lot of improvements in my health, my vision, and my overall mental status . This battle has been tough on my wife and kids, and I thank them for their patience and love. I realize there are no guarantees with anything , but I am thankful for what I have . I hope to keep progressing, and be able to work and drive very soon . I encourage you to read my story; I offer it as a cautionary tale for people in my age bracket in terms of maintaining good health , and what can happen to you if you don't keep an eye on your health . I also look forward to giving back to others as I seek gainful employment in some capacity. For my friends and acquaintances, I am here for you .... Don't be afraid to reach out.

     March 5 2018.......I am driving, getting to th local Y......God forbid maybe I'll work???? The struggle is slow, steady, and real. For now, I deal with the chronic aspects of life....dit, a1c, chf numbrs....exciting stuff. Like Zevon said.....enjoy every sandwich...

  I think of a lot of CSN tunes in my spare time, which I have way too much of. long time gone and wasted on the way seem to spin like vinyl discs in my head.......it has been a long time, and I have a ton to say.

     Around October 5 2015 I was having a little chest pain watching christian while hanging  out at Patton park....pretty innocuous........

     October 7 I Called out sick  and took a trip to my pcp...next thing you knaow, I'm in the hospital with a minor heart attack.....no biggie...put in two stents....move on..no problem.....of course with me, everything is a wee bit of a pinta now...

      During the first stenting procedure, I had a reaction to the contrast dye...my kidneys didn't care for the foreign crap and started to shut down, to the point where the doctors stopped the procedures with two partial blockages still in play. They were small and could be addressed later....long time running....

     A few days later, I am watching baseball in bed, healing up, about to be released the next day....I had the hospital version of mexican cuisine for supper...not bad.... plenty of meat and veggies... carbs and salt suitably counted by wrote...but I had this burning sensation in my gut.....not too much adobe....at 4 am I called the duty nurse and reported the discomfort....time for another trip to the stenting room...long time gone...

     Turns out, my body did not like the blood thinner plavix.....evil introduction indeed...the stents, two new ones and two old ones from 2010, were clogged and required immediate attention......thank God I was not home yet..lahey fixed me up...home about a week later.....on the mend..appears to be a long......

     Simultaneous to this process of mending and healing,, my dad had passed away and my in-laws were failing....no pity parties as all middle aged people face this stuff...my girl Judy was fighting her fight too....my favorite pink hat...my love, the eye of the tiger incarnate......we had a winter of healing and discontent at the same time......unable to focus on any one thing as all the stuff was getting splattered by the fan.......so much water flowing underneath the bridge...

     March comes, more like a lamb than the usual bitch it is...nice weather, taking a walk to the eye doctor, feeling pretty spry for a wounded guy, when  I noticed my feet were swollen.... not a huge deal, but something new. My pcp sent.me for an ultrasound of my right leg....all looks good...right foot is still sore....had a meeting with my endocrinologist....no names......sonofabitch did not look at my feet even when I asked him to...scolded me for not checking my bloods enough, which was true.....again, no pity parties here, but check my feet asshole!!

     Next day, I go to get my teeth cleaned, and I lost my lunch completely....totally out of left field, had not happened since my bachelor party and zambuca..sometimes we're wasted on the way...

     Next day my right foot is barking, howling at the moon painful, so my poor pcp gets the call...second time in six month a pcp trip turns into an emergent  call.......to avoid the grim details, I lost half my foot but have slowly gained perspective, strength, and confidence...two rehab stints, wound care visits, all good as I am on the comeback trail.

     My purpose is not to elicit pily or anything else. I give you the facts in my choppy prose to encourage you to keep up with pcp visits, stay tuned in to your doctors.....question them if you disagree...diabetes is a largely painless disease, but it's a slow quiet, insidious bitch.

     Paralleling these events....i started having problems with my eyes spring of 2015. I had my first of 6 vitriectomies ....followed by laser each time. My eyes keptbleeding...more laser was needed. Vitriectomy is a process done under a head block where blood is sucked out of the eye with a small needle. Another byproduct of diabetic neuropathy...finally I passed an eye test in November 2017 after being legally blind for a little over a year....very lucky and thankful.

     As I move on, 'wasted on the way' comes tanx goes frequently......I am young. I have made mistakes, I have regrets...I think I have something to say and probably many forums to choose from. At this point I am not afraid of failure, or much else. I have been given more than one second chance and am very willing, able, and happy to tell the tale.

     I love my wife, the Jude, my family, and friends and love my life, flawed as it is. If you know me, call me anytime. We can talk sports, music, life......no politics as I am a true centrist and will never find a candidate that fits.. cynicism and humor fit like a glove....God it's just too easy...signing off for now, God bless,, and we all play for the same team....All of us.